When a family breaks up, it is difficult for everyone involved.
Sometimes, family breakups happen after a long time of fighting and
unhappiness. Family relationships change as a result of the split and
there is often a lot of adjusting to do.
Children don’t show their pain and suffering all at once. They may seem to have got over it and then suddenly it reappearse. Especially the young ones often don’t have the words to express themselves clearly, so they can show their grief in different ways.
It’s common for children to feel a sense of loss and powerlessness as the decision to separate is out of their control, and they are mourning the loss of the family unit they have probably known since birth. Children who have previously been confident and calm may seem anxious and want to stay close to their parents or carers. Some kids may get angry or get into fights more often than usual. Others try really hard to be good because they worry that if they misbehave their care-giver will leave them too and Especially children can affect their daily life because of having a break up family.
In order to look after your kids, it’s important to look after yourself. Parents and carers who are coping with a separation are much more likely to have kids who cope. This can include seeking support from friends, family or professionals.
You can help your kids to cope by explaining the situation as it relates to them in age-appropriate ways – where they will live, where they will go to school, what will happen during the holidays. You can find out what is important to them by creating time to listen and hear their questions and concerns. Keep their routine as normal as possible to help them feel safe, and explain any changes that will affect them. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and be ready to listen. This can be difficult when you have strong feelings yourself so encourage your children to also talk to other, trusted adults who are more separate from the situation.
Children don’t show their pain and suffering all at once. They may seem to have got over it and then suddenly it reappearse. Especially the young ones often don’t have the words to express themselves clearly, so they can show their grief in different ways.
It’s common for children to feel a sense of loss and powerlessness as the decision to separate is out of their control, and they are mourning the loss of the family unit they have probably known since birth. Children who have previously been confident and calm may seem anxious and want to stay close to their parents or carers. Some kids may get angry or get into fights more often than usual. Others try really hard to be good because they worry that if they misbehave their care-giver will leave them too and Especially children can affect their daily life because of having a break up family.
In order to look after your kids, it’s important to look after yourself. Parents and carers who are coping with a separation are much more likely to have kids who cope. This can include seeking support from friends, family or professionals.
You can help your kids to cope by explaining the situation as it relates to them in age-appropriate ways – where they will live, where they will go to school, what will happen during the holidays. You can find out what is important to them by creating time to listen and hear their questions and concerns. Keep their routine as normal as possible to help them feel safe, and explain any changes that will affect them. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and be ready to listen. This can be difficult when you have strong feelings yourself so encourage your children to also talk to other, trusted adults who are more separate from the situation.